Active Minds Logo

Self-care

Self-care can play a significant role in maintaining your mental health and help support your treatment and recovery if you have a mental illness.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself

It means doing things to take care of your mind, body, and soul by engaging in activities that promote well-being, reduce stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy.

Self-care is not selfish. Supporting, uplifting, and taking care of yourself is just as important as caring for others. 

Self-care enhances our ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively. The practice of self-care also reminds both you and others that your needs are valid and a priority. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact.

Examples of ways to practice self-care

  • Clean
  • Cook or bake
  • Cross something off your to-do list
  • Exercise
  • Get a massage
  • Go for a walk
  • Listen to music or a podcast
  • Make art
  • Meditate
  • Mindfulness exercises
  • Play a game
  • Practice deep breathing
  • Read
  • Take a bath
  • Take a (timed) nap
  • Watch TV or a movie
  • Yoga
  • Spend time with a friend or loved one

Consider making self-care a routine

Practicing self-care can better equip you to deal with a crisis and the difficulty of aiding someone with a mental health or substance use challenge. Self-care can also be preventative. Engaging in a self-care routine may also reduce or eliminate anxiety and depression, reduce stress, increase happiness, help you adapt to changes, build strong relationships, and recover from setbacks.

Self-care goals can include:

  • Take care of your physical and psychological health.
  • Manage and reduce stress.
  • Recognize your emotional and spiritual needs.
  • Foster and sustain relationships.
  • Achieve balance across different areas of your life.

Distraction as a strategy

Activities are a great way for us to distract ourselves from our current emotions until we are better able to cope. When our level of distress is too high, we may not be able to effectively handle a situation and need ways to bring our emotional state down. 

Some suggestions may seem similar to self-care, but distraction activities serve a distinct purpose. One person’s self-care activity is another’s distraction technique, and activities can be both a distraction and self-care.

Examples of distraction activities:

  • Call a friend (and don’t talk about what’s causing you distress)
  • Create something
  • Describe your surroundings using your five senses
  • Do a puzzle
  • Do something kind for someone else
  • Focus on a single task
  • Go out to eat
  • Go to an event
  • Hold ice
  • Listen to music or a podcast
  • Make a list of things (cars, dog breeds, music artists, etc.)
  • Take a hot or cold shower
  • Try something new
  • Volunteer
  • Watch something funny
  • Watch TV or a movie

Coping Strategies for Difficult Times

No matter what you are dealing with, we can all benefit from tools that help us through difficult moments. Whether we are having a bad day, feeling stressed about work, struggling with anger, or feeling nothing at all, we don’t have to “just live with it”. There are tools available to help us uncover what’s going on beneath the surface and take action.

Changing our emotions

You may be able to regulate your emotions without suppressing or controlling them. This can benefit your relationships, mood, and decision-making.

IS MY RESPONSE WARRANTED?

Check to see if the situation warrants the response you’re having. Examine the facts. While our emotions are always valid, they are not always justified. Look to see if your emotional response matches the circumstances.

AM I BEING EFFECTIVE?

Examine whether what you’re doing is helping or hurting the situation. If it’s making things worse, do the opposite of whatever it is you feel like doing. Commit to it. If you want to stay home and isolate, force yourself to go out where there are people. If you’re angry and want to yell, try avoiding the person who your anger is directed towards.

Visualization Practice

This exercise involves creating images in your mind to promote calmness, enhance your performance, or simply develop the emotional toolkit required to deal with certain situations.

  • Visualize yourself sitting beside a gently flowing stream with leaves floating along the surface of the water.
  • For the next few minutes, take each thought that enters your mind  — any thought, positive or negative — and place it on a leaf.
  • Let them float by.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation is based upon the simple practice of tensing, or tightening, one muscle group at a time followed by a relaxation phase with release of the tension.

  • Narrow your attention on different parts of your body. How are they feeling?
  • As you go, consciously tense up each part and then relax it.
  • Start at your head, then move down through each part and end at your feet.
  • How is your body feeling?

Habit/Mood Tracker

Trackers help reveal patterns in moods and behaviors that allow you to notice triggers, develop healthy habits, and improve your general well-being. It can also help you collect valuable information to share with loved ones or professionals who are supporting you.

Practice Opposite Action

If you find that your emotions are not helping you achieve your goals, try the opposite action skill. The idea is to change how you feel by acting the OPPOSITE of how you are feeling. This is a good skill to use when the emotions don’t fit the facts.

However, if you feel scared because you are actually in an unsafe situation, the opposite action would not be the appropriate skill to use!

  • Feeling Lethargic? (i.e. unable to get out of bed)
    Get up and do something, no matter how small. Focus on how you will feel when you’re done.
  • Feeling Lonely? (i.e. wanting to isolate yourself)
    Reach out to a friend or loved one, even if it feels difficult. OR give support or express interest in someone else.
  • Feeling Fear of Failure? (i.e. feeling incompetent)
    Work on the project you are afraid of failing at, and take that risk. Make a list of the reasons you are competent.
  • Feeling Guilt? (i.e. feeling guilty when you didn’t do anything wrong)
    Examine what you did and ask yourself if it was truly hurtful to someone or if it was out of line with your values. If you do not have regret about something you did, you do not need to apologize.

Make a Coping Tool Kit (a.k.a. Calm Box or Self-Care Package)

It can be helpful to have a central place to keep items that will help you cope and maintain your mental health. Decorate your box and fill it with anything you feel will help to look back on during stressful times.

Some suggested items to include:

  • Distractors
    When anxiety first starts to build, it is sometimes helpful to do a distractor task to keep emotions at a more manageable level. Examples include fidgets, sensory activities, puzzles, brainteasers, coloring/drawing, etc.
  • Coping Tools
    Include multiple options of coping tools that help manage stress. Examples include emotional regulation activities, comforting items, meditation/breathing exercises, etc.
  • Reminders of Support
    Photos and letters from family/friends. Encouraging letters from yourself are a nice addition.
  • Means of Self-Expression
    Follow up distraction tasks with some means of self-expression or processing. Examples include a journal, art supplies/sketchbook, etc.
  • Resource List
    Include a list of community resources, referrals, hotline numbers, and other support options in case they become needed.
  • Grounding Techniques
    Grounding exercises help bring you into your present environment which can be helpful during moments of anxiety and emotional activation. Include a grounding object and a list of a few of your favorite grounding techniques to do when needed.
  • Therapy Materials
    Interventions, work done in sessions, notes from a therapist, worksheets, etc.
  • Self-Care
    Include any self-care items as well as self-care reminders. Examples include a self-care calendar, goals, etc.

ACCEPTS: A Trick from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

ACCEPTS is an acronym to help you tolerate distressing emotions until you are more easily able to address them. The tool should be used when you are feeling such intense emotions that you cannot just sit in them — when you need to be distracted.

  • Activities – Engage in something you enjoy to keep yourself busy.
  • Contributing – Do something kind for another person.
  • Comparisons – Remind yourself of a time when you overcame a challenge before.
  • Emotions – Practice the Opposite Actions skill to reduce the negative emotion you’re feeling.
  • Pushing away – Set the problem aside for a bit and schedule a time to come back to it.
  • Thoughts – Do something that takes all of your mind’s energy, like a puzzle or saying the alphabet backward.
  • Sensations – Use your five senses to offer a strong physical sensory experience. Hold ice or take a cold shower. Listen to loud or dissonant music.

When should I seek professional help?

Seek professional help if you are experiencing severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two or more  weeks, such as:

  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Changes in appetite or unplanned weight changes
  • Difficulty getting out of bed in the morning because of mood
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Loss of interest in things you usually find enjoyable
  • Inability to complete usual tasks and activities
  • Feelings of irritability, frustration, or restlessness

In Crisis? Support is closer than you think.

If you’re facing a crisis, you deserve help. View our recommendations for crisis support services. There is no such thing as “not bad enough” to seek mental health services and support.

Self-care Recommendations

From Active Minds:

  • “Take 20” Podcast Episodes on Self-Care
    • Listen to the two-part series where Alison Malmon, Active Minds’ founder and Executive Director, joined sisters Maddie and Kenzie Ziegler on their podcast “Take 20” to discuss tips for self-care, navigating stress, how to have hard conversations with loved ones and more. (Episode 1) (Episode 2)
  • Managing Wellness During Exam Season
  • 12 Ways to Practice Self-Care During Finals
  • When “Giving Up” Means Winning

BIPOC Mental Health:

  • Wellness Tools from BEAM
    • BEAM is a national nonprofit that is dedicated to the healing, wellness, and liberation of Black and marginalized communities with lots of resources and other content available.
  • The Underbelly Yoga App [PAID]
    • With over 200 guided yoga and meditation classes, The Underbelly offers the tools, practices, and inspiration needed to allow yourself to be you, your way.
  • Therapy for Black Men
    • In partnership with licensed mental health professionals and coaches in private practice throughout the fifty states, TherapyForBlackMen.org provides proactive, multiculturally competent care to men of color.
  • Therapy for Black Girls
    • An online space dedicated to encouraging the mental wellness of Black women and girls, ​​Therapy for Black Girls offers a “Find a Therapist” tool, a weekly podcast, and other content.
  • Latinx Therapy
    • A national directory is for Latinx Therapists in private practice, Latinx Therapy also offers wellness resources, courses and workshops, and a podcast.
  • Asian Mental Health Collective
    • Building a community for Asian mental health support, the Asian Mental Health Collective offers a therapist directory, a resource directory, and other mental health content.
  • The AAKOMA Project
    • Tools and resources for Youth and Young Adults of Color and their caregivers to manage their own well-being and mental health are provided by the AAKOMA Project.
  • Black Mental Wellness
    • A collection of mental health apps, podcasts, and other resources focused on Black mental health provided by Black Mental Wellness.

LGBTQ+ Mental Health:

  • The Trevor Project
    • The Trevor Project offers several resources supporting the mental health of LGBTQ+ young people, including self-care guides and articles regarding mental wellness.
  • Depression Looks Like Me
  • The National Center for Transgender Equality
  • The Mental Health Coalition
    • Their Roadmap to LGBTQ+ Mental Health provides education on how mental health overlaps with gender and sexual identity, as well as a robust resource library.
  • National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network
    • An interactive digital resource that helps queer and trans-Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (QTBIPOC) connect to QTBIPOC mental health practitioners.
  • Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
    • Resources for students to create change in their own schools provided by this national network of educators and students advocating for safe, supportive, and LGBTQ+ inclusive education.
  • Human Rights Campaign (HRC)
  • The Paths (Re)Membered Project
  • Mental Health America
    • Provides a screening tool for people of color who identify as LGBTQ+ to “interview” a potential therapist, which may also be useful for anyone who is worried about having a therapist who is affirming of their identity.

General Resources:

Apps & Platforms:

  • Therapy Assistance Online (TAO) [FREE]
    • Therapy Assistance Online (TAO) is a suite of online tools that is designed to provide you with a tool kit of effective evidence-based resources to help you bounce back from those setbacks. You have completely anonymous, free access, 24/7/365.
  • Calm [PAID]
    • The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life. Relax your mind, and wake up as the person you want to be.
  • Headspace [PAID]
    • The Headspace app provides mindfulness tools for everyday life, including meditations, sleepcasts, mindful movement and focus exercises.

Discover Active Minds Programs

Send Silence Packing®

An immersive experience that illustrates the stories and centers the voices of youth as they guide us through their mental health journeys to end the silence surrounding mental health.

A.S.K. your friends

Active Minds and MTV’s A.S.K. Acknowledge, Support, Keep-in-Touch, the new “stop, drop, and roll” of emotional support.

Find a Chapter

Peer-led mental health advocacy groups equipped to mobilize and change the conversation about mental health in their school and communities.

The content on this site is intended for educational purposes only and should not take the place of talking with your doctor or healthcare professional. It should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. If you have any questions about your medical condition, talk to your healthcare professional.